Why Seifer is not allowed to summon Leviathan
Why Seifer is not allowed to summon Leviathan

"I'll go with you," Squall said. "My chicobo needs new batteries."

Rinoa choked on her tea. "Excuse me?" said Quistis.

Squall glared. "I know you think I'm an anti-social bastard, but I don't see why there's an actual problem with me going to Deling City with you guys."

"I think she means the chicobo, Squall," Rinoa said, grinning.

"Yeah," said Selphie, "Irvy let me visit his daddy's chocobo ranch and they said I wasn't allowed to feed batteries to any of the chocobos because they'd explode! How come you're allowed?"

Seifer grinned while the rest of the table's occupants tried to either make sense out of Selphie's speech or pretend that they hadn't heard it (Quistis was hiding behind her coffee mug). "Because he's leader boy, Selph. You can't forbid the leader boy from doing stuff."

"Selphie," Irvine said in a slightly strained voice, "we did not tell you that eating batteries would make chocobos explode."

"But I asked if they would go boom and you said yes!"

"I said 'sort of'." Clearly Irvine had opted not to go into the exact differences between "going boom" and "dying" at the time. "And we're getting away from the subject--which is, Squall, that baby chocobos do not need batteries."

By this time, Squall had picked up Quistis' discarded newspaper and was hiding behind it. "Mine does," he mumbled, without looking up. After another thirty seconds, during which the rest of the table sat around waiting for it to dawn on him that more of an explanation was expected, he added, "It's not waterproof. The case leaked, and the batteries are dead."

Quistis put down her empty coffee mug and stood up. "You know, as fascinating as I'm certain the details of this conversation are going to be, I have a class to teach in five minutes. Could someone fill me in at dinnertime? Thanks."

Zell coughed. "Dude," he told Squall, "I think you just weirded out Quistis."

"No, she really does have a class now."

"You just keep thinking that," Seifer said, smirking.

"Shut up," Squall muttered. "It's your fault anyway."

"Wha--hey! Don't go pinning this on me, leader boy. I didn't have anything to do with drowning your freaky battery-powered chocobo."

Squall put the newspaper down (which, they saw, he'd been holding upside-down). "You're the one who decided to use me for target practice in the middle of Garden, Seifer."

"Heh. You offered to be my sparring partner."

"Whatever. You drowned my chicobo's batteries."

"So, hold on," Zell said. "If you drowned his chicobo when you summoned Leviathan on him last week, then--what, Squall, you had this chicobo on you? How big is this thing?"

"I got it up to one kilo before Seifer killed it."

"You know," Irvine said, "I'm really getting the feeling that we're not all on the same page here. Do you have your chicobo with you right now, Squall?"

"Yeah ..."

"Okay, can we see it?"

Squall dug into his pocket and pulled out a small yellow egg-shaped piece of plastic. It had a tiny LCD screen and three little round buttons.

"Is that a Pocket Chicobo?!" Selphie squealed. "That's so cute!"

Rinoa had collapsed to lie on the table in a heap of giggles. "I started thinking to myself that it sure sounded like one of those digital pets, but I just couldn't picture you with one, Squall."

Seifer had tried to grab it for a closer look, but Squall wouldn't let him touch it. "The hell? Digital pet?"

"No, give it to me! I want to see," Selphie cried.

"The battery's dead. There's nothing to see."

Irvine snickered. "You're so bad at sharing, Squall."

"So, um," Zell cut in, before Squall's glare could become dangerously menacing, "how'd you end up with one of these things, anyway? We didn't give it to you."

When Squall didn't answer right away, Rinoa poked him in the side. "Or did you just buy it for yourself, Squally? Chicobos are so cute, I bet you couldn't help yourself."

Squall growled. "I hate chocobos."

"But Laguna threw you that chocobo barbecue party for your birthday," Zell pointed out.

"They aren't as annoying when they're dead."

"Actually," Irvine put in, "that wasn't really Laguna's intention."

Seifer stared at him incredulously. "What the hell else was that madman going to do with 300 kg of dead chocobo?"

Squall coughed. Irvine looked away sheepishly.

Seifer managed to jump to the correct conclusion without any more prompting. "He tried to give you a chocobo to ride and you butchered it, didn't you, Squall?!"

"It's not my fault!" Irvine said quickly. "It attacked us first!"

Rinoa laughed. "Let me guess: Laguna was nervous about getting Squall a present, so he caught the biggest chocobo he could find."

"Probably the biggest one alive," Irvine said, shaking his head. "You should've seen this monster. Its feathers were starting to turn red, it was that old. I bet it ate T-rexaurs for breakfast."

"I heard that the really big chocobos can cast Meteor," Zell said.

"You better believe it. We almost didn't get out of that one alive." Irvine shuddered. "I hate Meteor."

"Laguna's insane," Seifer said. "So you decided to barbecue that sucker?"

"That was Kiros' idea, actually. Laguna spent the entire time flipping between apologizing like mad and promising to find Squall a pet that wouldn't try to kill him." Irvine paused thoughtfully. "I kind of thought he'd get a cat or something, though."

"Aww, so that's the pet Sir Laguna gave you?" Selphie cooed. "Squall, that's adorable! I wanna get one, too. How about you, Rinoa?"

"They are rather cute. I thought about getting a Pocket Puppy, but I have Angelo, you know?" Rinoa said. "I don't think I need one."

"Yeah, but we could challenge each other's pets! Hey, I know! Let's all get one, and then we can have a tournament!" Selphie rubbed her hands together. "I'll tell Quistis. Zell, what kind are you getting? A chicobo like Squall's?"

"Huh?" Zell blinked. "You want me to carry one of those little guys around??"

"Or you could get a mini 'Rex! Wait, Seif'll probably want that one."

"Leave me out of your crazy schemes," Seifer said grouchily.

Rinoa and Selphie exchanged looks. "Why, Seifer," Rinoa said coyly, "are you really going to let Squall beat you at something so trivial?"

"Huh-whaaa?"

"You can't expect to challenge him without a Pocket Pet of your own, after all," Rinoa continued. "But I guess you're too dignified to have fun with your friends now that you're all grown up."

Seifer glanced at Squall, whose face seemed to say, "This has snowballed, no, avalanched, into the worst possible scenario, and I want to stick my head under the blanket and hide until it's over, but I refuse to be beaten (especially not by you) in this stupid game."

"Fine!" Seifer shouted. "But I'm only getting one so I can kick all your asses with it!"